Jokes

1. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken

clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and

remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

2. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and, in the

event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take

them with you with our compliments."

3. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your

belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among

the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

4. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta airlines

is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the

industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

5. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly

windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to

fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened

while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate